I enjoy writing about the lighter side of aging and anyone looking for chocolate after last weeks column should find a soccer player who is raising funds this week. However, my good friend Jeanine Yonashiro is a graduate student in gerontology at USC and reminded me recently that I am in a position to advocate against elder abuse in this space.
She reminds me of the recent news that caregivers for Alzheimer’s sufferers that receive counseling are healthier than those who are unsupported. Since the majority of abusers are family members and caregivers, keeping those people healthy is going to directly reduce the number of abuse cases that occur. Caregiver stress is a superhuman burden and I absolutely encourage those of you who care for a family member or client to seek out help, either from a mental health professional or a peer support group like Leeza’s Place in Sherman Oaks or from a church or religious group in your own community. The important factors are having someone to talk to who won’t try to tell you it’s like when their kids act up, but know what you are dealing with, and won’t be shocked when you tell them how very bad you feel sometimes toward the person who has multiple physical, cognitive and behavior problems.
Dr. Tony Kuo of the L.A.County Public Health tells me that the death rate for dementia is increasing and we don’t have the tools to track it and tell us why. A condition that is still poorly understood in many ways, often managed in isolation and silence, and now increasingly dangerous. How can a caregiver not approach burn-out?
My best advice is to use every resource offered. If the Alzheimer’s Association will pay for respite, take it. If the local hospital gives a support group, go! If your church starts an elder day care, use it. Make a selfish choice now and then. Now I think I need a piece of chocolate.