I took the girl scouts to see Wiicked at the Pantages. The backstory to L. Frank Baum’s Wizard of Oz gives a new perspective to looking different, unreciprocated affection and altruistic sacrifice. At least that’s what the girl scouts thought. The older adults I’ve talked to don’t like the character changes. One told me that Glenda has always stood for purity and helpfulness. Her human frailty in the stage play was disappointing. A week later I sat behind some older adults in a matinee showing of Charlie Wilson’s War. I could see their physical reaction to some pretty provocative language in the film. Each bad word caused a stir of shocked disapproval and embarrassment. I heard one lady say it had ruined the movie for her. The codes of behavior that we learn in our youth tend to stick with us as we age. I know that in leading group therapy for older adults a rule about curse words is expected and followed. While younger adults seem to require a few expletives just to communicate at all. I know all those words existed 50 and 60 years ago. It just wasn’t acceptable to use them.
The girl scouts don’t like it either. But they do expect to call almost anyone, regardless of age, by their first name. Familiarity is not the issue it was when most seniors were in their youth. It would never have been ok for Eddie Haskell to tell Mrs. Cleaver “That’s a lovely housedress you have on today JUNE.”
Rules to remember when meeting older adults. 1) Use formal address like Mr. or Mrs. until invited to do otherwise. 2) Don’t cuss. 3) Agree that Glenda really was a good witch.